Mind Games
Week 6
Stereotype Threat & Imposter Syndrome
October 24, 2014
Most people have likely experienced the feeling that they don’t belong somewhere or don’t have the skills to succeed in a certain field. Anyone that has will know what I’m talking about when I explain the feeling of “imposter syndrome” I had when I decided to join the tech field. Before I applied to Dev Bootcamp, I felt like I simply wasn’t cut out for science, technology, engineering, or math (STEM) fields. My whole education and career had centered on humanities and writing, and I was really intimidated by math and science. But I realized this mindset that I was “STEM illiterate” was only due to self-created stereotypes that affected how I view my abilities. That realization motivated me to dive into web development head-first and learn as much as I could.
First, a disclaimer. As a white male, I acknowledge there are few overt roadblocks to me entering the tech field, aside from my own skills. I’m not the direct target of most powerful negative stereotypes. Some of my cohort mates at DBC will likely write about having to deal directly with stereotypes in very real ways – a fact that is patently unfair and concerns me greatly. Instead, most of my stereotypes are self-imposed. The stereotypes I created about myself are absolutely trivial when compared to racism, sexism, or homophobia. But my own mind games have definitely affected me in real ways that I’ve been working on a personal basis to overcome.
One of the strongest stereotypes I had about myself is that I simply wasn’t meant for STEM fields. Throughout school, math was never easy for me and science didn’t really engage me. I was more drawn to History, English, and Social Studies. These fields were much more tangible and seemed to have a direct relation to my life. Cold, hard numbers or dense theories didn’t necessarily give me a better understanding of how the world works. As a result of this disinterest, I told myself I wasn’t cut out for STEM fields. So I majored in Sociology and Communication in college and became a journalist and writer.
Just before applying to DBC, I realized the handicap that this mindset had saddled me with. I saw how my fixed-growth mindset was stagnating my career and keeping me from learning any new skills. I decided that if I really wanted to improve, I would have to throw out all my pre-conceived notions about myself. It was a gradual process, but I realized that STEM fields can be incredibly creative and fulfilling. I dug deep and realized the real problem I had with these fields were how they were presented to me in school: too much theory, with not enough real-world application. I’ve found I actually love building things and bringing ideas into reality.
The approach that has helped me the most in combatting imposter syndrome is to just let go of my ideas about myself. This approach is really more of an exhaustion with my self-imposed labels than anything else. I’ve honestly given up on the idea that I’m better suited for certain things, because that mindset led me to feel stagnant. I think I have a lot of varying skills and I don’t need to categorize them or put them in a box. I don’t care anymore about what I may or may not be “good at.” I’ve been down that road and it’s mentally exhausting to categorize myself. My primary focus now is just to learn.
This “STEM illiterate” view of myself was so firmly entrenched that I still have some residual feelings of imposter syndrome. Right now I feel like an outsider looking in to the tech industry. I feel like I’m behind the curve starting this late in the game. I know I have a lot to learn before I get my first developer job. But I trust that at some point (hopefully soon) I will gather enough skills to be a bona-fide web developer. For now, I just have to not let my inexperience take up too much real estate in my mind.
